Sunday 10 April 2011

Communication and Love

Hey all...I was thinking about what to share with you today for Soulmate Sunday - and I thought about how we communicate in relationships. I thought about how I communicate - how I want to communicate - and why. Anyway - here it is...my thought for today..

There are many things that can ruin a once ‘good’ relationship with your partner - and the one I’d like to focus on today is communication.

Sometimes - when relationships fail and you ask people why they may say something like – “Oh he cheated on me” – or “she cheated on me” – or –“ we just grew apart” and whilst all these things are valid reasons for relationships ending - often at the root of it is communication.
When you first meet someone to be honest it’s easy to get sidetracked and want to spend all your time focusing on the physical - which I guess its nature’s way – and completely understandable - but - if it’s something you value – it may be worth keeping your ears and eyes open as much as possible – and ensuring that you talk just as much as you do other things.
You may be thinking ‘Yeah but sometimes you just click with someone and you don’t need to talk much’ okay - I hear that – but even those who click – talk. You just may not see it – but they do. Communication shouldn't be difficult – although it can be depend on what you have to say – but in a relationship when all is relativly new -it should be easy to talk to someone. You should be keen to hear what they have to say – and keen to share your views also. How else will you know if you’re truly compatible? – How will you know if you have any shared values? – How else will you know what the other person is thinking? – What their needs are? – Their hopes? – Their dreams?

I remember sitting in a cafĂ© on Kilburn High Road last year with my sister – and together we watched the couple opposite. In all the time they waited for their meal -and even after it was delivered they never said a word to each other. Yet – they looked completely at ease in the silence – and in each other’s company.
Who knows what was going on with them at that time – there’s probably a perfectly understandable reason for that silence - but I remember thinking – ‘How at ease - and how solid does a relationship have to be with someone to be able to do that’.
To get to that stage - and have love and desire still exist takes work – or rather it takes real commitment - and love.
I like to talk – yet sometimes I like silence. I know from past experiences that when communication goes – or is ineffective – the trust goes – the understanding goes – the respect goes – the interest goes – the desire goes - the love goes. All roads lead to communication.

Whilst the visible effects are easy to pinpoint like cheating or not spending time together – tackling the cause is what is often avoided..even feared.
If you have busy lives – try and schedule time together – forget everyone and everything else and focus purely on each other - and talk.
If you really want your relationship to last and be all the things you want it to be - respect the other persons space - enjoy silence - but...(put it in your diary if you must)....talk

Love - Dawnax Happy SMS..

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